


Wouldn't it be lovely?

by TheAsexualKingoftheUniverse



Category: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Getting Together, Gift Fic, M/M, Tim Drake Birthday Hunt, fluff and also crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAsexualKingoftheUniverse/pseuds/TheAsexualKingoftheUniverse
Summary: How Roy Harper and Tim Drake got together and agreed not to destroy the world.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Roy Harper
Comments: 17
Kudos: 162





	Wouldn't it be lovely?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alphaofallcats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphaofallcats/gifts).



> A fic for I-am-verybusy for the Tim Drake Birthday Hunt in the Capes and Coffee Discord server! I hope you like it!!!

“I’m not going to allow you to do this,” Jason said. 

Roy raised his welding visor and looked up.

“Not allow me to do what, Jaybird?” he asked with mock innocence.

“Date my fucking kid brother.”

“Okay, one, gross, Tim is a full ass adult, and two, what is this, Romeo and Juliet?”

“I’ve warned you about speaking about that trash play in my presence,” Jason grumbled.

“You’re the one who came in here grumbled about how you’re not going to _allow_ me to date Tim. Like, I’m not Italian, and you’re only part Italian, why are we going all ‘you shall not become entangled with him’ all of the sudden?”

Jason sighed. 

“It’s not about either of you. It’s about both of you.” 

“Well, that makes no sense.” 

“You are a being of chaos who builds shit. He is a being of chaos who plans shit. Together, you will rain hell upon us all.” 

“Not everyone! Just supervillains, duh. And maybe our fathers. Or Dick. I am not above pettiness, Jason.” 

“Yeah, no fucking shit. You started a three-day war over fucking Pop Tarts last year.” 

“You shouldn’t have eaten the last one, Mr Protective Older Brother.” 

“…shut up, Roy, I’m not that way. Tim can kick your ass himself; I believe in him.” 

“I could take him in a fight!” 

“No, that twink will kick the shit out of you. Anyway, are you two actually dating or are you chickening out?” 

“I will have you know that I am no chicken. I am just trying to find a suitable time to ask him out in a romantic way.” 

“Just don’t ask him out when you’re on fire,” Jason said, “Third degree burns aren’t worth it.” 

He walked out of the room. 

“Jason, did you do that?” Roy yelled after him. The only answer was the distant sound of Jason’s cackling. 

“What a weirdo,” Roy muttered before he turned back to his custom bedazzler machine gun.

He was going to make damn sure the next JLA meeting was confusing as hell for them.

* * *

Tim texted him that very night requesting he come over with the prototype of the bedazzler. 

“You should ask him out,” Jason said as Roy packed. 

“What happened to you not supporting this?” Roy grumbled. 

“Just because I express concerns about the safety of all mankind if you go through with this doesn’t mean I don’t want to see both of you happy.” 

“You’re such a weirdo. And you are okay to watch Lian tonight, right?” 

“Yeah, dude, chill. I can handle your kid. She loves me.” 

“She’s a monster in disguise.” 

“So it runs in the family?” 

“Fuck off.” 

“Listen, you were the one who shot me with a flamethrower while I was in the shower. I don’t forget easily.”

“I apologised! Multiple times!”

“I don’t forgive easily, either.” 

Roy snorted. 

“No shit, Mister Vengeance Driven Paladin.” 

“I play a cleric, fuck head.” 

“I was _referring_ to your personality.” 

“Oh.” 

“Heh. No argument against that, eh?” 

“Don’t try to sound Canadian.” 

Roy zipped up his bag. 

“Alright, I’m headed out. Just order a pizza tonight. I trust you to order one with vegetables.” 

“No, I will be ordering her pizza and salad, Roy, she need vegetables!”

“Bye, Jay,” Roy yelled as he ran out the door of the apartment.

* * *

Tim’s workshop beneath the theatre apartment was a mess.

Sure, it was technically organised chaos, but that was a technicality and a technicality alone.

“Honey, I’m home,” Roy shouted over the noise of a drill. 

The drill shut off to reveal that _My Fair Lady_ was playing loudly over the speakers.

“ _My Fair Lady_ is just Edwardian _Queer Eye_ with meaner gays,” Tim said.

“I agree.”

Roy ignored the fluttering in his heart as Tim emerged from underneath a large, uh, mechanical something- Roy was honestly a bit lost as to what exactly is was- looking bedraggled and gorgeous and grinned at him.

“Oh, good, you didn’t get upset with me. Dick is somehow delusional enough to think it’s a romance.”

“Dick’s weird,” Roy replied, “I brought you the bedazzler. What do you want to test it on?”

“Ra’s is in Gotham. With a number of assassins. Bedazzling seems like a strategy he’s never been confronted with before.”

“You’re a genius. A crazy, sexy, genius.”

“Aww,” Tim said, “So you think I’m sexy?”

 _Shit shit shit_.

“Uh…yes?”

“Awesome. Want to date?”

Roy stared at Tim. Tim stared back, looking bemused with one eyebrow arched.

“Oh. You’re serious,” Roy said faintly.

“Yeah-huh. I’m not a complete and total asshole, after all.”

“Uh…yeah. Yeah, I wanna go out with you.”

“Awesome! I have a great idea for a first date.”

“What’s that?” Roy asked, “Oh. Is it bedazzling ninjas together?”

“Yep! And ice cream after.”

“Not just ice cream, I hope. We have to have balanced diets, Timothy.”

Tim sighed.

“You’re such a Dad,” he teased.

“I literally just told your brother to just order my kid pizza for dinner, how is that a sign of responsible fatherhood?”

“Because you probably just said that to mess with Jason because you knew he’d make a healthy choice,” Tim replied as he moved away to begin pulling on the rest of his vigilante costume.

“Damn,” Roy said, “You’re good.”

Tim flashed him a smile.

“I know,” he said, “I try.”

* * *

They burst into Ra’s hotel suite a few hours later to find him sitting triumphantly in an armchair.

“Hello, Timothy, hello…Roy Harper, I presume?”

“Sup?” said Roy.

Ra’s scoffed.

“Such terrible mutilations of the English language amongst the youth these days,” he said.

“Kiss my ass, Henry Higgins,” Tim replied, levelling the bedazzler.

“A gun, Timothy?” Ra’s asked, bemused, “I didn’t think you’d turn against your mentor like this.”

“Oh, this is no ordinary gun,” Tim replied with a grin.

“It’s better,” Roy said, levelling his own bedazzler.

They opened fire, coating the entire room in glitter.

Ra’s stared at them in shock, covered from head to toe in fake gems.

“What on Earth is that?” he hissed.

“This,” Roy said triumphantly, “Is a fucking bedazzler.”

“And don’t worry, Mr Eco Terrorist,” Tim said over his shoulder as they left, “I made sure this glitter was eco-friendly.”

He and Roy high-fived.

* * *

They went to the Baskin-Robbins (that Jason had shot the second ‘b’ off of in a pique of humour one night and the owners had just left it that way) after to get ice cream.

“No coffee ice cream?” Roy teased Tim (Who was holding his hand! His hand!) once they ordered.

“I drink coffee for survival, not for fun. Rainbow sherbet is the superior ice cream flavour.”

They ate their ice creams on the roof, staring out at the Gotham sunset.

“Roy,” Tim said, “That was the best first date I’ve ever been on. This bodes well for us.”

“And to think Jason was trying to threaten me off earlier today since he said we’d destroy the world together.”

“Well, we could, but we will use our powers for good.”

“That’s what I said,” Roy exclaimed.

Tim kissed him passionately.

“Glad we’re on the same page,” he breathed, “Now, wanna bedazzle Jason’s favourite car?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Roy replied.

They swung off into the sunset, grinning at each other as they went off.

Far off, Jason shuddered.

“If I didn’t know any better,” he said to Lian, “I’d think that someone was out to get me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic!!!


End file.
